I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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