Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
