You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
