i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
