wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
