Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think your dad took our porno
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
