he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
