How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my shit smells like andre
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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