If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
