Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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