peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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