I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
