Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
