I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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