If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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