So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cannot find my penis.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
