Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
