hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Please, let me fuck your mom
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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