It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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