return my video game
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
