I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
