i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
