she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
