Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
