if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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