It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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