So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
