dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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