U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
