So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
