somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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