that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
