Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize