I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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