Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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