He kissed a someone with a penis
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What a dumb baby whore.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
