i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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