Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
