It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
