I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
