I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
