Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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