apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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