i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let's paint friendship bongs
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
