I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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