"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
