Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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