brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
