Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
