I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
