how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize
